Goywonder

Achingly Modern Dilemma #1: Online socialites

Picture the scene: you’ve just met a sassy new female. She’s witty, educated, confident and devilishly sexy. In fact, you’re rather smitten (not that you’d let her know that, of course).

So naturally you’re delighted when you return home to find her waiting patiently in your Facebook friends requests. Your charm has paid off again. You choose your best profile picture, conjure up a zeitgeisty status, and cheerfully click accept.

Suddenly, your smile vanishes and your stomach sinks. You can’t believe it: this girl has a whopping 700 Facebook friends. You lean in closer to your laptop, hoping you’ve made a mistake. Sadly, there’s no such luck.

“700? That’s double your measly total, pal,” taunts your scathing inner monologue, his voice alive with an inexplicable New York twang. “Talk about being popular. Jesus. This girl probably has a secretary just to vet her inbox. Way to pick ‘em!”

So what do you do? Back down in dreary resignation? Launch a last-minute recruitment spree? Step up your charm offensive?

Get your answer from Goy Wonder tomorrow.